It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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