someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
