Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
