There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
