I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
