one might say we're banned from that church
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
