Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
