Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Randomize
