Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Found your dick twin last night
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
