wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
