Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
