i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
