so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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