so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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