let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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