Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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