Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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