dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
nutella sex= disaster
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
