everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
