Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
