Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Randomize
