She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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