We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
