We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
