New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
