please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
