This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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