i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I just pynch a tree in the face
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
