Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
