i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
