I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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