I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
