I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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