i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
