Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
