Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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