What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
