Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he thought i was a dude.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
