Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
