Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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