I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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