I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
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