she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I would ride that face into the sunset
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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