So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
