why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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