idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
