Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
