But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
