So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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