Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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